American Tragedy

Said the Wizard of Oz to the Tin man, "Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." Unbreakable they are not. But while the heart and spirit intertwines with grief, finding a means to express it is as important as breathing. As long as we live on this earth and allow ourselves to actually feel, we will grieve the loss of a loved one.

We awaken to grief naturally, without thought or reason or plan. It just suddenly arises within our spirit or within our hearts. There springs within us an overwhelming sense of loss and sadness.

I am drawn to write of grief on this rainy day in July as I watch the search efforts for a lost plane flown by John F. Kennedy, Jr. Many of my generation cried when his father was drawn by carriage down Pennsylvania Avenue and he saluted farewell. He was saying good-bye to a father he hardly had time to know. And in saying good-bye, he touched our hearts. He was like a brother, or a son, or a friend we never had the opportunity to fully experience, but somehow we cared.

We hear of spirit and God’s comfort. And we hear of being in a better place. This does not diminish the grief, nor the sense of sadness and loss. It only allows us to reflect and wonder. Is there anything that can ease the emotional pain?

I come across grief a great deal in my Homeopathic practice, more so than one might imagine. For Homeopathy is often only thought of as a natural relief system for physical ailments or injuries to the physical body. But interaction of mind and body can not be separated and Homeopathy works just as deeply on our mental/emotional disharmonies as it does on our physical ones.

Homeopathy is a non-traditional approach to healing that uses natural means to assist balance. It’s based on over 200 years of practice and research (Ed. - It is practiced in Europe extensively). It utilizes remedies derived from plants and numerous other natural sources. Rather than focus on singular symptoms or pathology ( asthma, headaches, PMS, etc.), the guiding principle of Homeopathy takes into account the totality of symptoms, mental, emotional and physical.

These accumulated symptoms form a recognizable pattern that allows a Homeopath to choose a single remedy (there are over 2,000 different ones). Once chosen and taken, this unique remedy aids in revitalizing the body’s innate ability to recover balance and stimulate healing. All in a natural and safe way.

There are numerous principles and procedures required for choosing the best suited remedy for any ailment, including grief. But, there are certain remedies that lend themselves to acute grief situations. Especially those that seem to impact entire societies.

When he died over 5 years ago, my grandfather was 94. He and my grandmother had been married for 75 years and relied on one another in every aspect of their lives. As my grandmother wept over the loss of her husband and lifelong partner, consolation and support were of little value. I gave her a Homeopathic remedy called Ignatia. Within minutes, her grief subsided and her inner strength returned. She felt more balanced, not quite so overwhelmed. Grief was present, but not with the same magnitude. And it wasn't being suppressed.

"Feelings of grief, once encountered and never healed, are much like bound feet. We don't know how much hurt or pain there is until the bindings are removed " [Merle Shane, Hearts that We Broke, Long Ago, paraphrased ]. By allowing grief to remain submerged and unattended, we find that it can manifest in a unique manner, seemingly unrelated to the actual grief.

I had a patient who, when he was 19, was rejected by a woman he loved deeply. She felt he was too immature for her and found another man to fulfill her dreams. He suppressed his grief for 12 years before coming to see me. The reason for his visit centered around headaches with an ongoing sense of listlessness, and to a lesser degree, apathy. After taking time to establish the relationship between his past and present, I determined that his recurring emotional and physical ailments revolved around the loss of what he considered the love of his life. A remedy called Natrum Muriaticum relieved his pains and allowed his grief to surface. Within 2 months he felt better than he had in 12 years.